After receiving  a disclosure of sexual abuse  

A Guide for Pastors - protocols and Pastoral Care.

Understanding Christian survivors,   as this is a guide for Evangelical Pastors providing Pastoral Care for Christians seeking Pastoral Care. 

Link to Isaiah 61 v 1 page

"don't tell anyone"

all too often we were told not to tell anyone

finally we did

Part of an interdisciplinary team

In the long term I found I needed a multidisciplinary team

     often that meant being supported by a fragmentated, often competitive

             mix of Pastors, Christian ministries, survivor support services and forums

                    sexual assault councellors, social workers,

                    and trauma release health care professonals and my GP's.

                             trauma informed remedial , trauma releasing remedial massage

                            somatic experiencing people\

                            music as therapy

                            EFT ( tapping )   shaking off trauma  etc

                            personal faith prayer and searching the scriptures


External Survivor

sexual assault services

rape crisis centres

advocacy groups

   there is a lot more available these days

though the demand often exceeds the  supply of services.


Applied redemptive theology

That man is sinful

survivors have been sinned against


to put it simply  Jesus saves. He redeems.


  I  saw was defiled  I needed  Jesus  blood to cleanse me

 I needed salvation


 other survivors do not see this

or offended by this

eg "I don't need fixing"



When a man's shame hides the pain

it is not uncommon for a man to delay disclosing and maybe reporting 

sexual abuse for decades.

under reporting amongst men is high.


unfortunately the statistics of reported sexual abuse

  suggest many more woman than men

  are sexually abused when this might not be the case.


this adds to the stigma men face

   we suffer in silence for many many years.

When the pain exceeds the shame

finally a point is reached when a man can no longer stand the pain

 and the pain exceeds the shame of being sexually abused

being sexually assaulted hurts

much more than a physical injury

preparing a sensitive presentation .

It was not our fault

victim blaming

    only adds to our suffering

    and humiliation.


sexual abusers are cunning



being abused by them is a heavy burden

the sword of abuse

I'm, not sure exactly what the sword of abuse is

but the analogy sure resonated with me

When survivors numb the pain

the fundamental problem is not the method

of numbing the pain

sure addictive behavious needs to be addressed


so does unbearable pain

and unbearable flash backs

   of what was done to us .


The issues


stages of recovery

survivors experience

      are random ,

     non sequential

 and unique

   to each survivor.