Time frame.
You have a church programme
You have many demands on your time
without warning someone makes a disclosure
or you are informed by the Police a matter is under investigation
you are in shock.
maybe denial - a normal reaction
Hopefully the Safe Church training has prepared you.
I am writing these pages out of my lived experience as a Pastor
having been a Mandatory Reporter
with a Duty of Care to the congregation.
suddenly everything changes
responding observing protocols and Pastorally becomes number one priority.
This is no quick fix
Whilst Civil and Denominational authorities need to be notified, briefed and updated
and "professional support" provided
you as the Pastor have a role to play as the Pastor in a trauma informed manner.
You will be faced with complex matters please avoid simplistic solutions.
this isn't going to go away in days or weeks or months
From my lived experience I would suggest a three to five year time frame.
the sooner you accept this the sooner you can plan and adapt and get support.
it is important to be systematic
to do one step at a time
get support and advice
the support services for survivors may be of assistance to you managing the situation.
increase self care
strengthen your prayer life and your devotional life
listen to ecouraging hymns and praise.
take time out
maintain family days off
take annual holidays
whilst being prepared for interruptions.
.
Get external support
do reading
Whilst you let people do their jobs
keep informed
stand by the congregation you are the Pastor.
It is hoped with Safe Church policies and increased community awareness
one can look at a three to five year time frrame
if there is openess
and issues are faced and resolutions found.
In churches where there is victimisation of survivors or their families
or the office bearers eg when I pioneered Mandatory Reporting
it is draging on 30 years plus.
facing it now is hard
pray for God's strength
the more that is faced now the shorter the time frame.
I know of one case where a victim and supporters were victimised
where the unresolved issues remain after 150 years.
Justice cries out.
it's the hardest thing you have dealt with
it has tenticles which go everywhere and it will not be contained.
it's random - like when an amature hits a ball into balls in the centre of a billard table,
balls collide and go everywhere in a random manner.
it's like when unstable atoms are hit and fragment setting off a chain reaction.
after an incident of sexual abuse
after the disclosure is made
there are sociological and vicarious trauma responses.
any denial or withholding of information only makes it worse.
pray for perseverance and endurance.
news will go out into the community
it may be in the media
be prepared.
"When my heart is overwhelmed
lead me to the rock that is higher than I "
.