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After receiving  a disclosure of sexual abuse  

A Guide for Pastors - protocols and Pastoral Care.

Applied redemptive theology   

.      I write to Pastors who  believe that Christ died for our sins, that is, He redeemed us.

       I suggest that redemption has applications for survivors of sexual  abuse / sexual trauma.

         Scripture has many verses about  redemption, healing and restoration.

         We find hope in the scriptures to counter despair experienced  by many in recovery.

         As a Christian survivor I relate to being in recovery rather than a survivor

                           though I am  very much a survivor.

      the Psychology dimension.  Releasing the memories  slowly, one at a time 

         A good sexual assault counsellor or a trauma informed psychologist can be helpfull  particularly during the safety and stabolisation process.   

        Processing memories    I find   for male survivors  www.1in6.org   helpfull

       The Lord sometimes heals our memories   as in healing the wounds  releasing the trauma

                      the memory is historical fact which remains.

        Therapies such as EDMR  may be helpfull

    Emptional Freedom Technique    eg  Clinical FFT    ( Taping )    is for the neurological impacts  and reversing scripts

   Physiological    "The Body Remembers"   Barbette Rothchild

                                          "The Body keeps the score"  Bassel Van Der Kolt

              sexual assault leaves trauma in the body 

              ie the body holds traumatic memories which need to  be released.

      I find remedial massage and/or physiotherapy  released trauma 

                    as can reflexology

    As a Christian I progress prayerfully  exercising discernment  taking care to withdraw from new age influences.

      Prov 3v 6  I trust the Lord to prompt me.

    My suggestion to Pastors is to be informed  to read up   to go to Seminars such as  The Byron Clinic in Australia

     NICABM   have on line Seminars. 

      sadly many psychologists and Counsellors don't do these courses  

       narrative therapy  helped me in the beginning  but there came a time when I wanted to get off 

              what became going around the same merry go round.

              I still have a phychotherapist who understands the neurology and has done some of these  courses.

     I am gratefull to Pastors who have prayed with me and supported me as I walk my recovery road. 

   I emplore pastors to  provide ongoing care 

       I  have built an interdisciplinary team

   Whilst some survivors feel so betrayed  by the church they don't want Pastoral Care

    I emplore Pastors to be available. 

        I found not only was I abandonded during the sexual abuse

                       but abandoned by many "profesionals"   as soon as they reached the end of their expertise.

    God is all knowing.

     God loves and restors  ( Psalm 23 )    Isaiah 61

     God's powerfull love casts out fear ( and I suggest trauma)  

 Requests - what to avoid

  •   applying a specific case to all survivors.  we are all different
  •   simplistic responses to neuro physiological dimensions
  •  assuming how we will respond   best to ask  listen pray   and read / research
  •  sending us to "a profesional"   without making  enquiries and being  available to a debrief                                                   and in between  the typical one hour weekly sessions 
  •  whilst forgiveness negates bitterness and resentment it should not be forced  and should not be sen as the cure all    although some survivors report great progress after forgiving.   If memories have not surfaced or processed  some may  like me not be ready top forgive until I faced what happened eg the betrayal and abandonment and conceilment and that took years. many years. 
  •   time limits or time frames.   recovery needs to be one managable step at a time.  

 

 

  

   

The Parable of the Good Samaritan

is about stopping to give first aid

and taking a wounded man to a safe place

to recover.

   without conditions

purely obeying the command

to love ones neighbour

Prayer

Listening to the story of a survivor with love  grace acceptance and compassion is very helpful

it's parallel to narrative therapy with one addition - prayer.

    My suggestion to any Pastor not sure what to pray is a simple prayer.

     God help [ name ]

This simple but powerful prayer gives a Christian survivor hope.

no longer alone.  We will have asked God to help.

   God is all knowing

   He knows the survivor's story and need. 

 

  I suggest the role of an evangelical or Pentecostal Pastor is to build faith

to encourage the survivor to "hope in God."

   Many times the Lord has brought Psalm 42 to my mind

 

  

Part of a multidisciplinary team

   from the point of hearing a survivor's disclosure and offering comfort and support

and Mandatory Reporting the disclosure

and hopefully arranging ongoing Pastoral Care

   we as Pastor's are , or should be part of a multi disciplinary team

                even if the professionals are not connecting

As a Christian survivor I want and need my Pastor to be part of the team.

 

 on the contarary please do not attempt to "be the expert"   no one is.

 

 Survivors need:

sexual assault counsellors

trauma release counsellors

and a range of health care professionals